Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
