It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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