3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
