If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
do nipples grow back?
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