So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
