these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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