I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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