I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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