but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
