dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
