Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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