Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
