so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
