So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
