The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
