belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Drunk is a universal language darling
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
