You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You don't make any sense
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