I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
