im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
