ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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