It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
