Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i was born a porn star she said
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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