I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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