Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
