I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
