bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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