I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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