so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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