this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
