I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
