you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
