so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
