just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
