Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
