It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We have started to decorate penises.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
