We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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