dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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