I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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