Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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