I'm gonna have a badass scar
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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