I got chris browned last night
I'm going to jail i love you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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