only if we run a train.
done.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
