She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
