I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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