Sry I called you an 8
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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