Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
