weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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