Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
