ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
