You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
